Showing posts with label Denverish. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Denverish. Show all posts

Monday, October 31, 2011

Happy Halloween...

...from Mikey, Dad and me.

My (first) cousin (once removed), Mike, is an artist of some renown, mostly for his oil paintings, but more and more for the wholly Mike-ish tales he tells in his newsletter, The Right Brain Express.

Every year about this time, Mike resurrects this story, and every year it gets a little creepier.

The Jon of the story is my father.

Mike's other art can be viewed at www.michaelomeuntiedt.com

Now CHILL!



Oiche Samhna;
Slam Dunk Spook


PROLOGUE:

Every year people ask me if I have revised the story about Old Aurora and the ghost of laughing Jack Smiley. As I think about this I look at myself in the mirror and see that the treacheries of Time have added more white to an already grey head; I wonder how much revision is necessary? My boyhood steps led me to a palette and easel of unfinished canvas. My cousin Jon, youthfully prominent in the story, has cast his life to flow into a comfortable one of trout streams and gentlemanly contemplation. Though our lives are located in the pleasantries of different times and locations than that dark and wretched Halloween of 1960, the surprising horror of that night cannot be forgotten…or redeemed! Recently, as in this past year, the City of Aurora has gone to great lengths, and expense, to reportedly “upgrade” the old City Park on 16th and Dayton. Granted, this aged and time-worn part of town does not deserve neglect and decay. Yet in the cold winds of a darkening October sky with pale yellow leaves carpeting the ground like a veil of shifting whispers, one must ask if the recent face-lift is one of community development or of convenient cover-up. Cover-up of the proof of the profane, of Laughing Jack entrapped in an eternity of terror. If such is the case, no amount of asphalt and designer poured concrete can ebb the flow of the Devil’s tide, or hide the mark of His ill gotten gain!

The Story of Laughing Jack

It seems it is always stormy on Halloween. I remember Halloween 1960. The storm that night blew over the bee tree, from which my brother Pat and I scooped handfuls of sweet honey treat the next morning. This storm was also the last time Laughing Jack Smiley was seen walking this good earth...

We lived on the former Hugh Berry farm south of what was then the small town of Aurora, Colorado. The Berries sharecropped the William Smith land for years. William Smith was one of the founders of Aurora, and his eighty year old unmarried daughter Margaret still lived in the old Smith Mansion, a Victorian Denver Square built up against the Highline Canal at the end of Park East Road. The road was a gravel farm path then, and crossed a bridge behind the mansion that led to our home. Aurora pretty much ended at Sixth Avenue, and the Highline Canal meandered through miles of farmland. My uncle, Bryan Untiedt, purchased the Smith farm and along with my father Ome, was beginning to build houses on the land which became known as Park East. In 1960 the area was still alfalfa fields and pasture with giant cottonwoods along the ditches and Canal. Aurora Central High School was new, and my cousin Jon Untiedt attended there. I was infatuated, as any eight year old would be, of cousin Jon and his friends, all athletes and ball players, and was from whom I first learned of Laughing Jack Smiley, and the tragedy that followed.

Laughing Jack Smiley lived in a small, overgrown cottage on Alton Street in old Aurora. He was my cousin Jon's age, and often met to play basketball with all the older high school boys on the new basketball court in Aurora City Park at Dayton and 16th Avenue. That court is still there to this day, though the newness and sparkle has long ago worn away. City Hall has moved, Aurora has grown to hundreds of thousands of citizens and the old City Park has become one of those off-the-beaten-path forgotten places. I doubt if the name Laughing Jack Smiley would be recognized by any living person there today, though the bare spot still exists on the eastern side of the basketball courts, the bare spot that appeared on that terrible night.

According to those that knew him, Laughing Jack was a peculiar sort. Tall and dark-haired, he rarely spoke, and when spoken to often responded with a shy half smile, from whence came his nickname, Laughing Jack. Though none ever mentioned personally knowing his family, the Smileys were rumored as being related to an ancestor who, in the previous century, helped dig up the graves in the old Denver cemetery where Cheesman Park is now located, and moved the disinterred to Riverside Cemetery on the Platte River. That bit of history is fraught with rumors of greed and disrespect, and that a Gypsy Curse followed the most disrespectful of the grave movers and their descendants. I can't attest to the truthfulness of this rumor, but it makes sense and helps explains the events on Halloween night, 1960.

October evenings were a time of basketball on the court in Aurora City Park. My cousin Jon and his friends would meet every evening to divide up into teams and play ball until the cold dark settled on the blacktop and they could no longer see to shoot. Laughing Jack was often present but rarely played, instead watching from the sidelines with that queer smile engraved on his countenance. Remember the times, these were the days of Wilt Chamberlin and Jerry West. Basketball was a game of large dunks directly under the basketball, or long practiced jump shots from the floor. This was before the days of Dr. J or Magic Johnson, and the Flying-Slam-Dunk was an unheard-of move… the Flying-Slam-Dunk…indeed, who would have ever imagined?

One afternoon, several days before Halloween, Laughing Jack asked if he might join in a game of pickup basketball. "Sure" was the answer, teams were chosen and a game commenced. Laughing Jack played in an unremarkable fashion, until late in the game, as the sun was setting over Mount Evans, and a cold crispness was spicing the air. Jon intercepted a pass and made a fast break down court. Big Denny Rider, whose father Doc ran the Aurora Auto Supply on Dayton Street, made a great defensive lunge, requiring Jon to pass off to Laughing Jack at the head of the key. Laughing Jack caught the ball, and in a mighty leap, four feet high and ten feet long, carried the ball soaring through the air and stuffed it in the basket. The ball cleared through the net and struck the pavement with a baleful thunk. There was not a sound on the court, or in the park, save for the breath of frost on yellowing leaves. Everyone stared at Laughing Jack in disbelief, tinged with fear of the unknown. You see, in those days no one had ever seen such a move, and its strangeness was as a man sprouting wings and taken to flight. Laughing Jack stared at his team mates, smiled in that half way of his, and took off at a slow dog trot down Sixteenth dribbling a basketball. Even as he disappeared into the evening his footsteps and sound of the ball echoed on the sidewalk and Jon, Denny, and all the players shook their heads and turned for the safety of their homes and families.

The next day some of the boys asked Coach Butchkowski from the high school to stop by during the evening game, in case Laughing Jack was playing. They wanted Coach's opinion on the legality of the move Laughing Jack had displayed. Laughing Jack showed up and again asked to play. As like the night before, his play was unremarkable until the last rays of sunlight were gleaming like ice frost over the western mountains. At that time, in the power of the gloaming light, Laughing Jack was offered the opportunity for another fast break Flying-Slam-Dunk. He successfully seized the moment, and as the ball struck the pavement, it resounded with a hollow bounce. But unlike the silence of the night before, this cool fall evening the basket was met with shouts and curses. You see, we fall victim to human weaknesses, and once the newness of something wears off, we often replace quiet unknowing with self-righteous indignation and anger. Coach Butchkowski stepped in to prevent fisticuffs, and rendered his verdict on the legality of Laughing Jack's move. "Now boys, calm down! I watched Laughing Jack carefully, and he took no more steps than you would for an ordinary lay up. There are no rules about how far you can jump when taking a shot, so long as neither foot is touching the floor, and his were definitely off the floor! Though I have never seen anything like it, I would say what Laughing Jack did was perfectly legal, and a new way to play basketball. I would like to know where he learned such a thing!" But laughing Jack spoke offered no explanation, and with that half smile tattooed on his face, turned and silently dribbled away into the waxing light. The boys would not play another game of basketball after Butchkowski's ruling, and the court remained empty until Halloween evening. You might view this as a harsh reaction to a new strangeness, perhaps even cruel. But we must be careful to pass judgment, now, a half-century after the fact; for our present seat in the story is a safe and comfortable one.

Halloween 1960 started off as a beautiful day. At Lansing Elementary School we had parties and watched "Legend of Sleepy Hollow" in the school auditorium. As darkness came storm clouds were building in the west, but the storm looked far off, and my mother allowed brother Pat and I to walk into town, to spend the night at Billy Lombardi's house, along with the rest of our bunch, which included Billy, Steve Rider, Corky Metcalf, Pat and myself. The plan was to trick or treat and watch horror movies on late night TV, which we executed in high style. We slept in Billy's dad's camper, and I remember well the lightening, wind and driving sleet that rocked the trailer, and helped our vivid imaginations drive the spirit of Halloween into our dreams. In the morning the storm had passed, and Pat and I walked home, our feet crunching in the wet gravel of Park East Road. As we passed Miss Smith's, we noticed that the storm had blown over a giant cottonwood tree, a tree William Smith had planted back in the 1880's when he first came to Aurora. The tree had fallen across the bank of a feeder ditch just below the head gate, and had broken in two. The tree had a beehive in it, and the hollow exposed core was a mass of honeycomb and golden honey. We feasted in high style, and could verify Halloween 1960 being one of the sweetest on record. That is, until we later learned of the Halloween fate of Laughing Jack Smiley.

It seems Jon had been to a party on Halloween, and driving home about 11:30 p.m. through the wind and sleet, had passed Aurora City Park. By the flashing glare of lightening he saw Laughing Jack shooting baskets on the basketball court. He stopped and despite the rain asked Laughing Jack if he was OK and perhaps needed a ride home. Laughing Jack smiled in his strange way and waved Jon on. As Jon was driving up Dayton Street, heading for Colfax, he passed a tall man in a slouch hat and long black coat walking down the middle of the street, towards the Park. This seemed strange to Jon, even more so when he didn't recognize the person. You have to remember, in those days Aurora was not the bustling suburb it now is, but was a small farm town east of Denver. Everyone knew everyone else. As Jon drove closer to home he became more bothered by Laughing Jack shooting baskets in the rain, and the tall stranger walking alone down an October street. He turned the car around and drove back to the Park, just to make sure Laughing Jack was OK. The Park was empty, and Jon could find no sign of Laughing Jack, or of the tall street-walking stranger. Jon seemed to notice a faint glow on the east side of the basketball court, but he was sure rain puddles and flashes of lightening in the sky were responsible. Satisfied with his inspection of the peculiar recent events, Jon returned to his car and drove into what became the rest of his life. Not so Laughing Jack.

Laughing Jack was absent from school the following week, when at last the high school attempted to contact his parents about Jack's truancy. The over-grown cottage on Alton Street was empty and boarded up. Every trace of the Smiley family seemed to have disappeared. The police were notified, but nothing came of it. After all, no one was sure anything untoward had happened. Eventually the disappearance of Laughing Jack Smiley became a numbered police report in the dusty files assigned to the vagaries of time.

But occasionally, when the late light of fall disappears over the Rocky Mountains, the sound of a dribbling basketball can be heard in Aurora City Park, when no players are present! After that Halloween night, 1960, a large bald spot appeared in the grass on the east side of the Aurora City Park Basketball Court, and it is there to this day! The City has tried to hide it with a playground, mulch and gravel, but it is there still, for no living thing will grow on it. The unholy spot is camouflaged with happy cries of children swinging and sliding through a timeless ritual. Despite the joy a playground brings, there are rumors that you can stand by this bald spot of ground on Halloween, and hear the distant thump, thump, thump of a dribbling basketball, and a weakening voice crying out "help me, please, please...help me!"

Halloween 1960 will always stand in my memory for the wonders of the honey-laden bee tree; but even more so, though the spirits of Halloween brought the miracle of honey to this October night, they also took something away. There are those I know who believe in the Cheesman Gypsy Curse, and payments made to quiet the dead, and to this they account for the disappearance of Laughing Jack Smiley. The Curse is based on an old legend, hard to verify and harder yet to satisfy the questions of a discerning mind. After the facts I have related and attested to in such good faith, I believe there is an undeniable explanation for Laughing Jack's predicament, if a predicament may be called such when it represents an event that lasts an eternity. Laughing Jack Smiley was taught the skill of the Flying-Slam-Dunk by the Devil himself, at the cost of his soul. In that fateful storm of Halloween midnight, 1960, Lucifer visited Aurora City Park to collect his debt; and collect his debt did he!

copyright 2011 Michael Ome Untiedt

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Go. Look.

For those of you who aren't already VSL junkies, allow me to direct you to today's offering:

10Steps.sg, a graphic designer's website that specifically features "50 extraordinary and attractive billboards" and generally has a bunch of cool advertising and graphic design.

One of the billboards is a Denver Water advertisement,§ so I feel a sense of civic pride:




There are also two Mini Cooper billboards. This is my lucky day.#

I'm a dork like that.


FOOTNOTE (crossed): And I think you all should be.

FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): I also like the "44 advertising posters with clever ideas."

§FOOTNOTE (swerved): I have long thought this was a particularly good ad campaign, though I loathe being told what to do with my water.

FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Any time Denver isn't in the news for housing terrorists of one kind or another, I am elated.

#FOOTNOTE (pounded): What with all the validation.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Lake 2009

If you're a weather dork or you live in Denverish, you know that last night brought a storm of legendary proportion.

I drove through a nasty bit of that storm last night and I'm tired. I think I may have been struck by lightning, my head's so fuzzy.

So I'm not going to be clever, not going to do a lot of footnotes.

Let's just let The Lake speak (mostly) for itself, shall we?

The ranger station says these fish are in Lake McConaughy


The ranger station also wants you to know how heavy record fish are, so they provide conveniently weighted examples for your educational entertainment.


Matt purchased this sombrero at the dollar store especially for the trip. He told his 13-year-old daughter he would be wearing the sombrero and nothing else at some point during their vacation. This led to many frantic hatnappings. Also? The hat bled pink all over Matt's nice Bronco shirt. His daughter things it served him right.


Inflatable Items was a big theme this year.


Matt, deflating at the end of the day, looked like Godzilla over a floatie Tokyo. That's what Shannon said, in any case, and it drove the rest of us to sing Blue Oyster Cult's "Godzilla" all afternoon.


The kids, of course had a marvelous time. With much threatening and cajoling, they were grouped for a nice group picture.


And a goofy group picture.


Braden and Chris, plotting the demise of their sisters.


Mary, my little datesake


It takes a floating village...


Or a floating train...


Braden discovers the projectile capabilities of a water noodle.


Curtis rides the shark, which is not at ALL like jumping the shark.


Erin


Curtis and his harem


A bad day to be a frog


Saturday was windy. The lake was choppy.


The boats danced


As did the porta-potty


And the people. The people danced. I so wish you could've seen it.


Shanny rescued Mary


And we went for the traditional farewell dinner. Peanuts on the floor, country music on the TV and over the speakers...


On the way home? Never seen the Colorado plains so green. Plus... cows!



FOOTNOTE (crossed): Literally AND figuratively.

FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Just that last one. And this one.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

The Corner of Lust 'n' Love†

Or the corner of Marin 'n' Quebec.

[SUMMARY: Potayto, Potahto.]




Kari was out walking her boy yesterday when she came upon this Greenwood Village street sign.§

And sent me the picture.

[SUMMARY: Kari is my new best friend.]

Guess what I want for my birthday?




It's a big YouTube day, isn't it?

*************

No. 3: The Spirit of Wood - Light Source & Philippe Paparella-Paris (Part 3 in the series)

Marin says: Grapefruit and cigarette smoke.

Right around the edges, a hint of something brown sugar sweet -- fig or currant, maybe. The grapefruit burns off quickly, leaving smoke and a hint of something brown sugar-sweet.

Another light, long-lasting scent. The final amber -- or maybe sandalwood -- throes stuck around until the next day's shower.

Six Scents says: "The inspiration for this fragrance comes from Cosmic Wonder Light Source's nature oriented fahion collection. Inspired by the designers memory of a scent experienced during a walk through a eucalyptus forest, a selection of fresh green top notes were combined with fig leaves and enlightened by green grass playing with fresh cut cypress. The idea was to create a rough and natural fragrance, using a lot of essential oils with a focus on the woody notes such as vetiver and himoki." - Phillippe Paparella-Paris, Perfumer

Ingredients: Green Grass,# Fig Leaves,$ Cypress, Elemi, Coriander, Cedar wood, Vetiver, Himoki, White Amber$

Hans says: It's very earthy. It smells like something I smell a lot, like... trees. Pine trees. I'm getting a lot of wood. I feel like I'm eating wood right now, chewing on bark.††


FOOTNOTE (crossed): Thus:




FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Quebec being well known as the City of Love.

§FOOTNOTE (swerved): For those unfamiliar with Denverish suburbs, Greenwood Village is one of the best villages, and certainly has the best street signs.

FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Oh, yeah. Just like I said... grapefruit and cigarettes. *ahem*

#FOOTNOTE (pounded): The bitter end of green grass has a LOT in common with grapefruit. *ahem*

$FOOTNOTE (on the money!): Yes, I'm taking credit for fig leaves. If I don't want to wreck my midterm grade, I should probably fight for credit for "maybe sandalwood" as the closest I got to wood all day. heheheheheheh. Wood.

††FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): For all the Hansisms, Hans got the perfumer's vision much better than I did. In a snit of jealousy, I believe I will start calling him Cosmic Wonder Light Source.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Saturday in the Park with Shanny

Some happy Saturdays, Shanny has a morning remote, then an afternoon of Rockies Radio, with a few hours in between to putter.

Some happy Saturdays, I putter with him.

A couple of Saturdays ago was one of those happy days. We decided to explore the relatively new RiNo§ area of Denver.

Once upon a time, when Coors Field first opened, I used to park on Little Raven and walk across desolate fields and many railroad tracks to get to baseball games.

My, how things have changed. It's shiny lofts, trendy restaurants and Commons Park.

I *love* Commons Park. It reminded me so much of a little, tiny Central Park with its art, water, hills and little nooks where for just a moment, you can walk in the wilderness and forget the city mere yards away.




This is a cool and totally useless bit of art.#




It has lofty meaning...




...and when you get to the top, you reach the stairs and go right back down. It's a ramp to a stairway to nowhere...




...with a window to the sky.††




Anything that purposeless with lines that nice *has* to be art.

[SUMMARY: I know it when I see it.]

There are three bridges all in a row in RiNo.

One goes from Commons Park west across the river. The next goes west across the freeway into the Highlands neighbourhood.‡‡ The other is on the other side, going east across the railroad tracks.

First, we crossed the river.




At the foot of the Highlands Bridge, there's more art.§§




It's called National Velvet¶¶ and it... gleams.

[SUMMARY: Shiny!]

We quickly crossed Highlands Bridge and landed right next to the statuary supermarket.##




We gazed on art in a more classic style†††...




...and found duckies.




Across the street, urban hieroglyphics‡‡‡:




Having exhausted the west end of the bridge continuum, we realised the only thing to do to make our day complete was to cross the easternmost bridge: the Millenium Bridge.

Back across the freeway§§§...




..and across the river and onto the Millenium Bridge, with its ship's mast and starburst of cables.¶¶¶




We watched a train.




I was delighted by the simple ingenuity of the bike grooves on the stairs.###




And we gazed out over downtown Denver. This is Union Station.%




We headed south to 15th, where there's a charming viaduct.@




And more artwork tucked away in a stairwell.




We headed west on 15th back to Little Raven and saw this historic building.




According to the plaque, Historic Building No. 19, which you'd think one could look up on any number of registries, but it was a surprising bitch of a research project to find out what Historic Building No. 19 was all about. There's a lot of tangled information involving David Moffat and his brother and I think I gave Shanny my conclusion too soon.

This building is Moffat Station,^ but was indeed part of Moffat's railway empire. I haven't yet figured out what some of the articles are pointing to when they're talking about his brother's property.

Shanny may be the only person who would understand those last two paragraphs. Carry on.

[SUMMARY: Dot your Ts and cross your Is.]

It was time for Shanny to get back and wire up for the Rockies pre-show. Besides, we were exhausted. A couple of hours of wandering and stairs and bridges and cranes will drive a person to a good night's sleep.

It only seemed appropriate that this was the last artwork we saw on our adventure:




FOOTNOTE (crossed): As they say on the Colorado Morning News, "...engineer Shannon Scott." And I always talk back to the radio and say, "Hi, Shanny!"

FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): 850 KOA, home of your Rockies, Broncos and Buffs.

§FOOTNOTE (swerved): River North.

FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): ...itty, bitty, wee, miniscule, a percentage of a percentage...

#FOOTNOTE (pounded): Not entirely unlike the scene above it -- Shanny called it Windows desktop -- but more abstract.

††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): Though I like to think it's some sort of solar calendar thingie that tells us when to sacrifice the virgins.

‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): Home of your dear ol' AntiM.

§§FOOTNOTE (that's me, shaking my head): Um... "art."

¶¶FOOTNOTE (*headbonk*): Of COURSE it is.

##FOOTNOTE (I got your number): Not its real name.

†††FOOTNOTE (a tres of statuary): read: with boobs. I had a statuary penis too, but in a fit of feminism I forgot to upload it.

‡‡‡FOOTNOTE (on the wrong track): Pie, house plant, coffee, saucepan?

§§§FOOTNOTE (turn around and around): You may notice I have a thing for architectural stuff. I have whole volumes of vacation photos that are nothing but brick walls and trestles.

¶¶¶FOOTNOTE (not using my head head head): Any decent tourguide would have taken a picture of the mastiness of the bridge instead of just the weird up-angle.

###FOOTNOTE (three pounds of impressed in a two pound bag): I am so easily amused.

%FOOTNOTE (percented): With a crane.

@FOONOTE (atted): And another crane.

^FOOTNOTE (careted): Dear Shanny, in case you're reading this, I don't even remember David Moffat's brother's name, but it isn't his house.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Let's Talk About the Weather

This was yesterday:




As part of the ongoing cycle of extreme weather, we had hail.

And torrents.

And urban flooding.

Hail isn't kind to plants. The basil gets muddy and trampled...




And the cucumbers get shredded and even impaled on their own stakes.




And yet, The Little Tomato That Could powers on.




Now, I'm very proud of my little tomato. Watching it is not unlike watching Tallest, Hairiest Nephew when he was just discovering vision and movement; I could sit with him for hours watching him watch everything.§ Now I watch The Little Tomato That Could intensely, aware of every little hair and every hint of a new leaf, every colour change and every growth spurt.

But I also saw Attack of the Killer Tomatoes and I'm wondering at man's folly in creating a tomato strong enough to blithely withstand a hailstorm.#

[SUMMARY: Plants are almost as scary as robots if you do it right.]

Today, the tell-tale darkness blotted the sun and I ran out to put one of the deck umbrellas over the tender plants†† to save them from possible impending hail.

For those of you unfamiliar with Denver's weather plane,% there is a large-scale weather rotation called the Denver Cyclone that occurs when winds coming off the Palmer Divide meet the currents of the Platte River Basin. When heat and moisture are high enough, rotational thunderstorms that can lead to hail and funnel clouds are the result.

This is a rotational thundercloud that‡‡ became a high funnel cloud just down the road.§§

ETA: It's more fun if you wait 'til the buffering finishes, then fast-forward it. Nobody really needs to watch a full minute of slow boil.




Always an education here at the Rickety Blog.

Kids: don't try this at home. This was the work of a certified lunatic and should not be attempted by the levelheaded.

Back to you in the studio, Jim.


FOOTNOTE (crossed): A catch-phrase almost as popular as "Doppler Radar" on today's weathercast.

FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Not a stupid sparkly one among them.

§FOOTNOTE (swerved): Well, and play with him as one plays with a cat. Altruism only goes so far before one needs to entertain oneself.

FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): By which I mean "my folly."

#FOOTNOTE (pounded): I would like to point out that this is a wholly organic tomato, grown by wholly organic means in organic soil and organic compost, fed organic tomato food... I learned *something* from the movie. Also? I worry that The Little Tomato will rebel in its teen years and eat nothing but McDonald's and petrochemicals because I was so strict with it in its youth.

††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): Using a remarkable system of deck rails and bungee cords. Bungee cords are the new duct tape.

%FOOTNOTE (percented): Let me be your weatherdork, baby.

‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): I believe.

§§FOOTNOTE (twister!): They had to evacuate Coors Field (three miles from my house) during a baseball game. In my fantasies, the funnel cloud that precipitated that is the one I recorded.