Which sounds like the title of a highly acclaimed runner-up for the Man Booker Award or something.†
Definitely soon to be a major motion picture starring Kate Winslet.
Actually, Tallest, Hairiest Nephew and I baked a cherry pie‡ while Dr. Doom was at soccer practice.§
But they *so* look capable of pie making, don't they?¶
I had to tell them the old-people-nostalgia story of how their father was exactly the same way, and back when we still had film in our cameras,# it would cost me oodles to foot the bill for the film we had to go through so he could make faces for 20 frames before we got down to one good, serious shot.
Then I had to explain the word "hereditary" to them.
Also "evolution."††
Trying to build hope for the future, one nephew at a time.‡‡
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): My old book club would definitely swoon for it.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Handmade crust and all. Skillz... we has them.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): And I went to his soccer game this weekend. He is not a soccer talent. Brother says worse than usual, but I notice a certain sibling tendency that includes a complete lack of awareness of the ball and such joys as watching clouds while the game is going on around him.
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): My tongue is firmly planted in my cheek.
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): You kids get off my lawn!
††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): Next time, we'll explore "nature vs. nurture."
‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): Aren't they handsome creatures, soccer and pies aside?
...that if you have a post of, say, zero words, you should probably still split it into a series of posts because people get cranky if you choose Twitter over Blogger and absent yourself from the many-word world for months on end.
Friday was Dr. Doom's birthday. As My-Former-Sister-In-Law-Let's-Just-Call-Her-Elizabeth‡ had the boys starting Friday, our side§ of the family celebrated Thursday night.
The nephews got their Nintendo 3DSs that night. Tallest Hairiest Nephew is going to have a meager birthday in August,¶ but I suspect he thinks it's worth it.#
This, by the way, is a family trait††:
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): Thank goodness. The whole dead cat thing was too grey to leave at the top of the page for too long.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Anybody want to start a pool on how long I will continue to think that's funny? Also note, that's what I call her when I talk about her IRL. Like, with my mouth.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): Plus the Wicked Stepmother, who I suspect is her own side.
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): The boys also got golf clubs, and since we're heading into golf season, THN got all his big birthday presents Thursday.
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): Mostly because he said, "AntiM, you've made me the happiest kid in the whole world!"
††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): His grandfather would have you believe it came from his grandmother's side, but I have pictures that would prove this is a homozygous congenitality. I may have just made that last word up.
Werk recently upgraded† to the latest Microsoft Outlook, which includes a voice-to-text for voice mail.
Let's back up: if someone leaves a message on my office phone, I get an email with the caller ID and a play button that I can either send to my phone‡ or listen to via a media player on my computer.
PLUS... when I got a company-sponsored cell phone,§ they hooked my Outlook to it, so I¶ get a copy on my cell phone of the email that contains a copy of my work voice mail when someone leaves a message on my work phone.#
Hans and I were toddling off to lunch yesterday, when my phone tick-tocked†† to tell me I had a message. When I checked it, I recognised it as a voice mail notification,‡‡ but it also had the following text§§:
Let's back up again: Brother wants to be black. At times, Brother has thought he was black. He's pretty hip to the hip hop culture, so I read the text and thought it was an actual text or an email maybe. At first, I said to myself, "Self, Brother is having problems with his autocorrect." Then I decided he was rapping some hep slang that I simply wasn't down with.¶¶
Two or three minutes of examining context and I realised it was voice-to-text## and it was kinda screwed up.
By that time, I really wanted to know what "brooklyn truck" was going to be.
Here's the actual voice recording:
And here's a transcript:
"Yo, it's your brother. I'm probably going to give you... drop you an email too, but I just thought I would check maybe if you could, um, drop by here on your way home today real quick so I can slip you a key, go over, y'know, what to do with the cat and stuff.††† Awesome. Alright, thanks. Bye."
"Brooklyn truck" is now acceptable Untiedt sibling slang for "real quick."‡‡‡
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): And I use the term loosely.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Desk phone, that is.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): Which isn't quite the treat it sounded like at the outset. I can't call the carrier for help, I can't add international texting - even if I pay for it myself - because if IT has to support too many odd requests they'll explode, and I don't have a mouseball on my phone and I hate that. As I whine about this, I'm wondering if I need to spend some time in a Third World country to gain perspective.
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): ...can be in close, personal contact with work 24 hours a day...
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): Screw the Hokey-Pokey, *that's* what it's all about.
††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): Because that's the noise I chose to represent notifications.
‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): It had a picture of a phone.
§§FOOTNOTE (jump back turn around): Which was the first time I'd seen text on an email with a picture of a phone on it.
¶¶FOOTNOTE (throwin' up gang signs yo yo): Word to your mother like it's hot. And a bag of chips.
##FOOTNOTE (in for a penny or two): When I said the Outlook upgrade was recent, I apparently meant, like, yesterday.
†††FOOTNOTE (I'm just so terribly cross): Brother and his girlthing are going to Costa Rica for a week. B-cat (Beatrice, Brother's cat) is a travelling man's cat and has always been perfectly capable of entertaining herself for days on end. Brother is blaming it on the girlthing - he says ever since Cindy moved in, B-cat thinks she needs attention all the time. Hence the need for a catsitter.
‡‡‡FOOTNOTE (we're on the right track): I feel confident I can speak for Brother too when I say, "Don't feel you need to be an Untiedt sibling to use this wonderful new slang phrase. Spread the world! Share with your friends!"
